Guarded Surrender serves as a reflection piece that speaks to themes of platonic versus romantic emotional investment. Embellished with pages from my personal journal from periods in recent years, this work dives into a processing of the ways in which I have struggled with the misunderstanding of these two things. Love presents itself in many ways, and as someone who loves deeply it is not uncommon to be faced with moments of confusion regarding the root of that love. It became a constant battle of overinvesting in platonic love that felt matched in certain ways, as those individuals were seeking out their own understanding of sexuality and what it means to love those around them in all the right ways. Unrequited or unresolved, there is a level of acceptance and self-preservation that follows the confusion. Guarded Surrended addresses those feelings in a way that is presented physically as a sort of shielding from the complications of a misunderstanding such as this.

Etched on the metal, the piece reads…

(Front, Left to Right)

“I find freedom in my surrender to the things I choose not to change.

I want to be met with the same grace and warmth I have learned to lead with. Instead I find myself moving in a constant outward motion towards those unwilling and unable. I want to run towards honest reciprocation instead of away from in the name of complacency. Seldom investing in promise and permanence… leaning into the things that are destined to fail with limited risk of an unexpected pain… only that of my own volition.

And so I remain detached.”

(Back, Left to Right)

“And so I will settle for friendly embraces and laughs and time spent admiring you from across the room. And I will remind myself not to stare too long, or read too deeply into your drunken love language of …

Physical touch.

And I will remain quiet and content in your presence for as long as I know you.

And I hope it’s a long time.”